OZZY OSBOURNE

It has been about 20 years since Ozzy Osbourne bit off the head of a sewer rat at one of his concert performances.

Originally, Ozzy was in the business of offending people. His music often connoted, but did not literally say the Prince of Darkness was the way to live one’s life. He would employ the usual strategies to promote controversy. They included shaking snakes at the audience, mooning them, throwing water at them, and spewing blood. It was all in a day’s work.

He sold 70 million albums with such big hits as SPEAK OF THE DEVIL, BARK AT THE MOON, and ULTIMATE SIN. His most controversial song is probably

SUICIDE SOLUTION.

When MTV announced that Ozzy was going to be a new cable television show, I am guessing that viewers imagined that the guy would be involved with casual sex with groupies, watching him snort cocaine with band mates, and maybe be involved in animal sacrifice (like a baby puppy.)

What we discover is that the songs that he sang to your children was not what he wanted to for his kids.

Ozzy is a suburbanite with a monogamous family with a wonderful wife who is also part of his management team and two slightly less than adorable kids.

In his house, the deco is a bit cosmetically challenging, but one thing is for certain. There aren’t many rooms in the mansion that doesn’t have crosses or crucifixes in them.

To further complicate matters, his latest song that debut at #4 is about

Jesus, God, or a higher power and that listening to their message is okay.

It must be devastating to some hard core fans of his.

He doesn’t want his daughter or son to be messin” (casual sex) and if they do, birth control is absolutely necessary. He doesn’t want them to do drugs. I will say that again. He doesn’t want them to do drugs. Are you with me on this stuff?

Ozzy has either recently got religion or his message at a concert is ethically challenged by his behavior at home.

The show starts with an OZZIE AND HARRIET 1950’s jingle and quickly segues into the family that stays together says the “F” word together. Then we see Ozzy walk the dog, watch the dog urinate on the carpet, put dishes in the dish washer, and worry about his kids friends and education.

He still has the limo, security, and domestic help, but it looks like the rock star has a rather “normal” life. Six million people tune in to see him every week.

This is the travail of rock stardom. You can’t have it both ways, but Ozzy has broken that rule.

At a future time, you might see an announcement that he is on his next tour, called THE FAMILY VALUES TOUR.

He may even clean up his act without any dead rats and rubber snakes.

I think that is called “selling out.”

Give me a break. The guy is down right decent. Or is he? Watch the next episode, coming soon to your cable television. (Ozzy doesn’t know how to work the remote. Do you?)

Joel Snell

Professor Emeritus

Kirkwood Community College

319-366-0063